I had to have "the talk" with Sonia today about Ruby's future in competitive obedience. I hate to say it, because I feel like I'm giving up on her, but it's looking more and more like she's going to struggle to get her CDX. She's got some baggage (I hate that word...sounds like an excuse) that we haven't been able to work around for years. I know this dog loves me - the feeling's mutual - but I don't think that's going to be enough to get around her resentment. I don't know what she's resentful about - I'm pretty sure it's something along the lines of "why do you keep pushing me? I love you, I listen more often than not...what more do you want from me?"
I knew when I started that she could possibly be the biggest challenge...she's never let me down on that. But this dog, who's been through so much and struggles with her inner demons everyday...it's hard to watch her get down. I know how much potential she has, how much she loves being in the ring with me. I've loved watching her figure out what I want when we've been clicker training her dumbbell work. I love seeing that tail wag every time I look down on a halt when we're heeling, and the attention she gives when she is really enjoying something. I love the zoomies she gets when she realizes that yes, she can make a mistake...but it's not the end of the world.
I feel like I owe her more. If that means finishing up her CD and working up to her RE and then hanging up her show chain...so be it. I only want her to be happy, and someday realize that this is her home....she can relax...the rug isn't going to be pulled out from under her again.
To those of you who believe a dog is a dog is a dog...I hope you realize the damage you can do to a living, feeling animal. You may not realize the harm you can do...but the rest of us who rescue have to deal with the issues that come from your ignorance. A dog doesn't forget the things that have happened in their lives, and it shapes their outlook forever.
I understand what you mean when you say, "...it's hard to watch her get down." It's why I quit with Ronin, and Ronin's got "baggage" too. Once I realized training was 30% fun and 70% NOT fun for him, I stopped. With everything he's been through, I didn't feel that it was fair to him to only get 30% fun out of life. Now, as a retired old fool (with no obedience titles, sadly) he has 99% fun, 1% NOT fun. Which is exactly what he needs. :)
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