Ok. I'm beginning to think that it's not dog show mojo I've got going on...it has to be road trip mojo. As in, seeing things I've never seen before, and hope to never see again.
This is where the warning comes in: GRAPHIC DETAILS. DO NOT CONTINUE READING IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY PERVERTED ACTIVITIES.
Leah and I went and visited Sandi last weekend. It was great - we got a chance to catch up, help feed 11 puppies their first real meal, and change ribbon collars. We were going to the annual IDR+ Holiday party on Sunday, so we were transporting a foster to be dropped off to be seen by the vet. Tucker is an adorable 5 month old with huge natural ears and lovely personality.
Tucker, like most Dobes, likes to suck on things. Blankets and fluffy things are Dobe favorites. We didn't think much of bringing a puppy into Sandi's house with bitch in heat. But let me tell you, the event that follows is enough to make me think of something like that...forever.
We take off Sunday morning for Union. Tucker is in the crate in the back. About 10 or 15 minutes into the drive, I can hearing a sucking noise. I turn around.....
and make eye contact with an upside down Tucker head who is busy sucking himself. That part of your mind that's in the gutter right now? You'd be correct. But did you include the humping? I sure wouldn't. But it's true. He was humping his face. Uh huh. I just said that.
I shrieked at him. I was aghast. But bless his little heart, the shrieking LEAVE IT that filled the car made that horrible scene end. I let him continue the air humping as long as he wasn't putting his face down there.
Shudder.
End disgusting scene.
Now, an improvement. You know the movie Men in Black - the first one? Where they visit the lady in the country who lost her husband. "It was Egger, but it wasn't Egger. It was like somethin was wearin an Eggar suit...."
I'm almost convinced an alien has taken my dog and is just wearing his skin around. The last two weeks I've had a pushy, excitable, attentive, but quick to settle dog in my house. One that is eating every meal, not getting sick, DROOLING and bouncing for food, and hunting cats. It's...odd. Very odd. I think the Three Amigos may have realized I was serious about breaking up the brotherhood in March. I am, AGAIN, contemplating if I'm going to go through with it. It depends on his performance at his first Obed trial in Feb. I'd prefer to keep him intact and let him age a bit. But don't tell him that...I like the improved, happy go lucky Rocket.
I read an interesting article a few weeks ago. It was talking about a correlation between a dog's digestive system and their emotions. It applies to humans too. You know comfort food? Apparently that's real - you can get emotional satisfaction from eating that food (mine's my mom's beef and homemade noodles..YUM).
The example used in the article was a nervous, anxious dog that had a digestive issue. They added probiotics to the dog's food, and the results were very positive - the dog's whole demeanor improved, and her digestive problems disappeared.
Guess what I've been giving Rocket the last few weeks? Coincidence? Maybe. ;)
I love science!!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Another entertaining dog show weekend....
I'm pretty sure that whatever dog show mojo I've got going on, it's the "slightly malicious for high entertainment kind."
Honestly. You remember that movie "Best in Show?" I never really used to think that dog people were always like that. But seriously, I'm pretty sure that movie is almost completely accurate.
What man bends at the waist to brush a dog with no thoughts to where his ass is pointing? A man who breeds show dogs.
What woman brings dogs to a show and goes "hmmm...something smells....what is it?" Discovers the source of the smell.....and then leaves it on a crate for an entire weekend? You guessed it...a woman that shows dogs.
The stories that Leah and I have from dog shows are quite comical, to the point of painful. Last weekend, our friend Sara and her husband were nice enough to let us stay in their house. We got to go out to eat, do a little shopping, and just hang out. It was really nice!
The comicals:
1. Rocket only eating his dinner after eating Revy Glop. Weirdo.
2. Missing day of show entries by 5 minutes. Really? I drove 5 hours to your show, and I get a snide response? Forget your next one, I don't need to show my dog that badly.
3. I was sick the entire weekend. Like the "popping pills every hour" kind of sick. And there's nothing better than spending long periods of time at a dog show and in the car when you're sick.
4. Personal space. I know that crating at a dog show can be tricky. You get friendly with your neighbors, meet new people, and have a good time. However, you should not be getting friendly with your neighbors, ass first, and then pretend that you don't notice. Really, I shouldn't know more of what your ass looks like in your khaki colored jeans than your face and your Cosby sweater. Also, you don't make friends with strangers when you move their chair to sit in front of their dog's crate. EH EH! BAD MAN!
5. You discover the type of people you attract. Leah is one of the nicest people I know, and she regularly makes new friends at dog shows. I, however, am only approached by strangers when I am doing cross-stitch. Think of the demographic on that one. Also, is there something wrong with my face?? Maybe...don't answer that. Or they approach me when they want to tell me how I am showing my dog wrong. I wasn't showing him wrong when I beat you in the ring........
6. Smell all of your things prior to bringing them into a show site. Honestly. Do not set up a crate near someone, who instantly starts wondering what that smell is - out loud. Especially when your neighbor is sick. You don't want people wondering if it's YOU that is that smell, or if it's one of your dogs. You should not smell like rancid bully stick or rancid anal glands, and you shouldn't own anything that smells like that. If you identify the smell, REMOVE IT FROM THE BUILDING. Don't say "oh, that's what smells!" and then LEAVE IT THERE FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND.
7. I tend to fall asleep in cars. I also have a pretty vivid imagination when I'm semi conscious. The problem is that I start a conversation in my mind with my fellow passenger...and then continue it out loud. Yes, things like "they were making muffins" do come out of my mouth, along with the follow up confusion when my confused fellow passenger asked me WTF I'm talking about.
I'm hoping that since this weekend is a dog show free weekend that it will be more normal. But I do get to spend time with some 5 week old Dobe puppies, shop at IKEA, and meet some fantastic IDR volunteers. WIN!
Short training update - I commented that I will be showing Rocket in Novice B in February. Let's hope I don't shoot myself in the foot with that one. :)
Honestly. You remember that movie "Best in Show?" I never really used to think that dog people were always like that. But seriously, I'm pretty sure that movie is almost completely accurate.
What man bends at the waist to brush a dog with no thoughts to where his ass is pointing? A man who breeds show dogs.
What woman brings dogs to a show and goes "hmmm...something smells....what is it?" Discovers the source of the smell.....and then leaves it on a crate for an entire weekend? You guessed it...a woman that shows dogs.
The stories that Leah and I have from dog shows are quite comical, to the point of painful. Last weekend, our friend Sara and her husband were nice enough to let us stay in their house. We got to go out to eat, do a little shopping, and just hang out. It was really nice!
The comicals:
1. Rocket only eating his dinner after eating Revy Glop. Weirdo.
2. Missing day of show entries by 5 minutes. Really? I drove 5 hours to your show, and I get a snide response? Forget your next one, I don't need to show my dog that badly.
3. I was sick the entire weekend. Like the "popping pills every hour" kind of sick. And there's nothing better than spending long periods of time at a dog show and in the car when you're sick.
4. Personal space. I know that crating at a dog show can be tricky. You get friendly with your neighbors, meet new people, and have a good time. However, you should not be getting friendly with your neighbors, ass first, and then pretend that you don't notice. Really, I shouldn't know more of what your ass looks like in your khaki colored jeans than your face and your Cosby sweater. Also, you don't make friends with strangers when you move their chair to sit in front of their dog's crate. EH EH! BAD MAN!
5. You discover the type of people you attract. Leah is one of the nicest people I know, and she regularly makes new friends at dog shows. I, however, am only approached by strangers when I am doing cross-stitch. Think of the demographic on that one. Also, is there something wrong with my face?? Maybe...don't answer that. Or they approach me when they want to tell me how I am showing my dog wrong. I wasn't showing him wrong when I beat you in the ring........
6. Smell all of your things prior to bringing them into a show site. Honestly. Do not set up a crate near someone, who instantly starts wondering what that smell is - out loud. Especially when your neighbor is sick. You don't want people wondering if it's YOU that is that smell, or if it's one of your dogs. You should not smell like rancid bully stick or rancid anal glands, and you shouldn't own anything that smells like that. If you identify the smell, REMOVE IT FROM THE BUILDING. Don't say "oh, that's what smells!" and then LEAVE IT THERE FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND.
7. I tend to fall asleep in cars. I also have a pretty vivid imagination when I'm semi conscious. The problem is that I start a conversation in my mind with my fellow passenger...and then continue it out loud. Yes, things like "they were making muffins" do come out of my mouth, along with the follow up confusion when my confused fellow passenger asked me WTF I'm talking about.
I'm hoping that since this weekend is a dog show free weekend that it will be more normal. But I do get to spend time with some 5 week old Dobe puppies, shop at IKEA, and meet some fantastic IDR volunteers. WIN!
Short training update - I commented that I will be showing Rocket in Novice B in February. Let's hope I don't shoot myself in the foot with that one. :)
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